Invisible Tattoos, by Farida Momtaz

Invisible Tattoos

by Farida Momtaz

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Invisible Tattoos is a collection of twelve distinctive poems that depict the beauty and darkness of the human experience through words and music…

Described as 'Poetic Stories,' each poem uses clever wordplay, thought provoking lyrics and a story-telling style, to explore a range of subject matters such as social inequality, the challenges of contemporary culture, and the timeless topics of love, heartbreak and inner conflict. The art of poetry is used to discuss history, politics, economy, culture and how this is intertwined with our identity.

Invisible Tattoos will take you on an emotive roller coaster of highs and lows. Delving into the darker side of life and examining the complex world of emotions and encounters, this album provides a social commentary of the unheard voices of multi-cultural society, while touching on the subjects that make us all human and unlike anything else on this planet. This unique collection of poems will undoubtedly leave an imprint on your mind...

Invisible Tattoos is also available to buy as a book at: www.faridasworld.com ... more

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‘The poems in this collection are an illustration of the hidden tattoos that have been etched along my skin and into my soul. Although invisible to others, they are a mesh of mental and emotional moments and memories. They are a testament of my survival, and more importantly a reflection of my growth. They are my silent voice…’

Invisible Tattoos is a collection of twelve distinctive poems that depict the beauty and darkness of the human experience through words…

Described as 'Poetic Stories,' each poem uses clever wordplay, thought provoking lyrics and a story-telling style, to explore a range of subject matters such as social inequality, the challenges of contemporary culture, and the timeless topics of love, heartbreak and inner conflict. The art of poetry is used to discuss history, politics, economy, culture and how this is intertwined with our identity. The poems are all accompanied by an individual analysis which explains the inspiration behind each bitter sweet story of human connection, struggle and spirit.

Invisible Tattoos is a book that will take you on an emotive roller coaster of highs and lows. Delving into the darker side of life and examining the complex world of emotions and encounters, this book provides a social commentary of the unheard voices of multi-cultural society, while touching on the subjects that make us all human and unlike anything else on this planet. This unique collection of poems will undoubtedly leave an imprint on your mind... ... more

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Purchasable with gift card

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1.	Gotta Get Outta the Ghetto 05:48	lyrics	buy track
I’ve gotta get outta the ghetto... A congested urban space for people surviving below the poverty line... A place of high crime, unemployment and failing schools A cycle of deprivation that can be so cruel... Surrounded by screw faces, bubbling anger and minimal positive thoughts... Confined to live here cause of custom or lack of choice Cause down the road where the big houses are, we have no voice! The corroding tower blocks that loom over our hazardous streets! Forcing us to constantly be on our feet! No role models to follow I’ve gotta get outta the ghetto... They stare at me with revulsion as I penetrate through their shattered doors I come from the same struggle as them, only to be lessened by their internal flaws! I can see their minds working, they think I’m capable of so little! They’ve already signed my underclass committal! I never knew how powerless I could be or feel My own people cause my heart to fluctuate and to the system kneel! I feel to scream ‘You’re all like me but yet you’re stepping on me!’ ‘I’m a human being, not just another fiend!’ But a little bit of power makes insecure people feel like kings! Lions of the slum; the ghetto that we are all trapped in! Poisonous minds now they’re sitting on a false thrown! Another reason why I’ve gotta get outta the ghetto and find a real home... I’m tryna to move to the other side of the borough to add five years to my life expectancy To give my children the chance to thrive and have a spectacular destiny I want them to really live, not just survive... I don’t want my daughter to become some waste man’s baby mum! And I don’t wanna go to jail to visit my son! But the ghetto is polluted and I’m forced to inhale the fumes! The streets breed a different type of need, a different kind of greed! Pessimistic and unrealistic dreams! Promised by the aspirations of a society where the divide between rich and poor is much greater than it seems... He can’t feed his kids... But he’s got fresh crep, a draw and a brand new trim! Chasing down his next victim to breed, so he can become the king of his ghetto dream! Cause this materialism gives him meaning to his otherwise empty existence! The streets are as fragile as Lego... I just know that I’ve gotta get outta the ghetto... I’m working and paying taxes and trying not to abuse the system But the system is abusing me... It’s suppressing me, breaking me, belittling me! See no one told me that the system only works against people like me! I don’t talk right, my skin ain’t right, and into their world I have no real insight! I’m from the ghetto and that’s where they put people like me! I feel like giving up and becoming another statistic! Stereotypical single mum living in a council flat and surviving on welfare benefits! I know I’m capable of so much more, but I’m constantly at war... Cause the ghetto won’t let me go and mainstream society won’t let me in So I lay here in my ghetto, divulging in my ghetto sins... There’s always been a system in place to create suppression Segregating society so dictators can have a herd of whores that don’t ask any questions! Knowledge is power and I’ve got way too much! I educated myself about my history, colony and the ills of our society And now the demons of my knowledge are constantly haunting me! My ideology has been created from exposure to the extremes I lived in the ghetto and had to watch misery and broken dreams... Crack heads walking street next to school children A cycle of children having children and not knowing how to raise them! Drugs, poverty, misery, stress... The ills of the ghetto; a community in a mess... But I try to rise no matter how low the destruction around me makes me go... I’ve gotta keep fighting, cause I’ve gotta get outta the ghetto…
2.	Peter Pan 02:25	lyrics	buy track
I think I’m finally beginning to understand That we’re living in a generation flooded with Peter Pan’s Scandalous little boys that believe they can fly! Truth is, they only fly when they’re high! Never ageing; their mentality’s of a child! Grown men imprisoned in their youth They choose to be there as it removes them from the truth... They fear responsibility Sacrifices they are forced to make result in irrational hostility! So many grown men fighting to be Peter Pan Leader of the Lost Boys, but too frightened to be a man! Playing with life like it were a worthless toy This cycle continues to their offspring and they create more lost boys! Confused little girls not understanding what a man should be Their fathers were Peter Pans so they had nothing to teach! Defeating urbanized Captain Hooks They claim they’re “hustlers,” but we call them crooks! They live in a fantasy in which they never grow up internally! Peter doesn’t appreciate the things that he should cherish! His characteristics; nasty and selfish! Having children then expecting the state to pay! While he smokes weed and computer he plays! Peter barely knows his parents... We’re surrounded by so many lost boys that were never really raised by their parents... Creating children then transforming them into a commodity! Enjoying the beauty but ignoring their duty! Seeking to continuously replicate their childhood memories! So Peter became confused... No role models yet living with constant abuse... But our ghetto Peter Pan’s don’t progress They remain stationary creating further mess I guess this is their defence mechanism to stop them from feeling so worthless! Their childhood was the happiest, that’s when life hurt less! So Tinker Bell abandons them and the star stuff is finished... The Peter Pan in a grown man is forcefully diminished! It’s a shame cause Peter could've been so much more But he refused to grow up; so his spectacular destiny was ignored...
3.	My City 03:36	lyrics	buy track
Welcome to my city... It’s a metropolis of hybridity Matters that were petty become heavy And things that have no meaning can become everything! What do you expect when wealth resides next door to poverty? Ferrari parked next to a tower block that is worth half the money! Wrong messages have so many mentally locked It’s funny that we travelled through seas to arrive to open prison blocks... It’s a city where everyone comes to find belonging But they arrive to social conditioning! The signs said ‘no Irish, no blacks and no dogs!’ ‘Cause this is our home!’ So communities created a home from home! So now we got mosques, next to the church and the synagogue! And we got Waitrose next to the black hair shop! And there’s always a man selling cards on the corner to phone home This is a city where you’re never gonna be alone... Fatherless communities, creating generations disengaged from their community Wondering what is unity? Youngers searching for a miracle Dad’s not there so the Shotter on road becomes his role model! He’s pushing a nice car, flashing a chaps and rocking designer labels And the TV’s telling us that means he’s successful... So the little boys imitate his actions, and the little girls all wanna be with a man just like him! All craving something they lost before they were born... Mum is depressed Tired of holding down this mess, so much stress! She was so desperate to have a family, thought it would make her feel complete... But the man she gave her all to, left her for someone new, and now she’s all alone... She had to get a job cause the bills won’t stop and on benefits she just about copes! But now she don’t see her children, Dad’s not around so who’s raising them? They fend for themselves cause she’s tryna create a better way to live So the pills balance the pain, although it changes her and she doesn’t remain the same... So welcome to my city... Where the big houses mask broken homes! And the tall buildings hold small characters! And everything is about meaningless encounters! The poor smoke while next door the rich sniff coke! And we all need to numb something... The sirens spread through the streets! And no one sleeps! Cause this is a city that dances as much as it breathes! But this is the city that I call home... It’s all I’ve known where I’ve grown! One which embraces diversity Without my city I wouldn’t be me... There’s so much talent Entertainers, life saviours and things you can’t even imagine... Cause if you can see past the smoke You will see why this is the city that I call home...
4.	Traffic 04:03	lyrics	buy track
I feel like I’ve been living my life in traffic... As soon as I’m moving forward, I’m prohibited I was the driver diverting from it! Intersections regulated by signs But it was the red lights that had me confined... I’m watching while drivers take turns Tryna guess each other’s intentions! Deals from flashes of eye contact Scheming ways to escape this deprivation contract... It’s a silent dance that’s aiming to defeat! Our streets rain with rivalry as we’re all hungry to eat! So we submerge solitarily in our cars Taking no passengers cause we’re forced on roads that have no grasp! Seized in a system which is conspiring against us! Blindly conditioned to behaviours of our fore fathers! Surviving in the deprived part of a welfare state! We start to treasure the things that the rich man hates! Misleading signs and contradicting traffic lights Red, amber, green, flashing so fast... The ghetto has endless no go zones... Transportation signals that have no control Hybrid communities judged by the imperial past! Social beliefs different to the upper class... Cause most of the guys I grew up with had little to believe in! Many girls abandoned, so only trusted in their fucked up surroundings! The rich get richer while the poor continue drowning! So fear cheats so many of us out our dreams! Countless remedies but pain refuses to go away... Accustomed to it so we make the same mistakes again... If the world makes way for those that know where they’re going What if we can’t reach our destination because of the way the traffic is flowing? But nothing’s changed it’s always been functioning like times past Illiterate human beings following social chains of command... So “right of-way” is a matter of status and not fair play! And I guess we are to blame! Cause we acquire faster cars without knowledge of how to play the game... Sitting in traffic cause there’s no space to change lanes I try and heal my soul, but I can’t silence my brain... Too many times I’ve been trapped in traffic jams Traffic that’s been ceasing my plans... So many stop signs but hardly any go! So when I hit the road, I started speeding and didn’t even know! Racing fast cause I needed to catch up! Even in a banger I refused to give up! So you know what? Fuck what life gave me; I refuse to lose my way! No matter how many back roads I take, my journeys end is my fate! Tryna reach my destination, there’s gonna be many cars in my way Some forcing me to get road rage! But I’m caught in a traffic jam And I have the option to go hard, or go H.A.M! So I ride through the traffic And stop at the stop signs But they don’t have me confined... Cause my engine was always in drive... The traffic may delay me But I put my foot on the gas, and reach my destiny...
5.	Survived 03:57	lyrics	buy track
As she takes a pull of her cigarette She stares at me revealing a secret that she has been trapped in... She told me she was damaged goods It was the curse of years of abuse... The weight of her words were an expression of perplexity She said ‘He hurt me so badly!’ The concept was so complex to me that no matter how hard I tried, I was mesmerised by her plastic eyes, in which sadness was hidden... My mind couldn’t comprehend what had happened To make someone with freedom feel so imprisoned... She asked me not to ask her anything for a while... She just needed a friend, someone who wouldn’t pass judgment... And as she sniffed the powder that she had been self-medicating Her emptiness transformed to numbness and her tale became horrific… Rivers fell from my soul... As she shared the stories of how he shattered her earth, ruptured her self-worth! And no matter how much he took, it was still never quite enough! He was supposed to protect her! She thought he had wings and he would save her! But he scarred her soul while he incarcerated her! And what was supposed to be the beautiful part of humanity Was tainted by the actions of an ugly human being! She swallowed her stones of sorrow, as she told me about her broken world... She said ‘He told me it was normal, I was his only girl... And when I told him I felt dirty, he made me feel guilty! So in the end I lay there as he gratified himself while killing me slowly! Imagining a million ways to stop this from becoming my only reality And then I started thinking that maybe it wasn’t so bad because afterwards... he always held me...’ I cried; cause she had confused the pain of violence with the pleasure of love making In her short lifetime she had endured misery which equated to the lifetime of a million solar systems... Depression came from his darkness as she became a hostage of his sickness... Each time he violated her, she believed she had died for the last time... And although she tried to leave him, there was so much melancholy in goodbye... But the pain was so immense that she had to scream to hear silence! And the last time she had felt anything; her innocence was being blemished by him! She asked me if I knew how it felt to wash and still feel dirty within! How it felt to be punished every day because of another’s sin! I shook my head cause what she was saying I couldn’t comprehend... And then she held my hand and told me it was alright He was dead inside while she was alive... She held me, while I cried... And told me that he had lost Cause she had survived...
6.	Makeup 04:28	lyrics	buy track
She wakes up with last night’s makeup half plastered on her face Another good night... So good she can’t even remember what took place It was the weekend and she got lean, going crazy in the rave! Yolo was her motto; it gave her another excuse to misbehave! So she smoked her weed and took a bit of dizz And just so she could really feel it... She added the drink... Her value is based on what other people think So last night before she went out, she laid out all her cosmetics, and carefully put on all the layers of makeup that make up her image, and mask her insecurities, so that she can portray her made up reality! Prisoner of her own mind, confined... So even when she speaks, she displays another pretence, another lie... Her intellect is displayed in her chest and proven between her legs All she has to offer is her sexiness, so in the club is where she performs best! With her seductive dances, she is the queen of one night encounters! So last night she gave her body to another stranger that she can barely remember today... His name had no relevance, but she made sure she gave him her made-up name! Who cares anyway cause intimacy is not what she’s interested in! She just needs that little bit of affection... So self-gratification came from one night deceptions, where her ego was nourished by satisfying another’s prescription... So with her loudness she silences her internal damage! Her body she exhibits, she flaunts her physical assets! Her confidence comes from her Facebook comments And Instagram is where she has just posted another selfie depicting her idea of beauty, but in actuality it objectifies her sexually! And it fills me with sadness, cause she is happiest in an existence that she has created in virtual reality... So on Thursday evening when she had been let down again by the father of her children, she needed to smoke a spliff! It done as she wanted by taking her to numbness, but she was no longer able to function... So she could only offer emptiness when her son needed guidance and encouragement... Last week at parents evening the teachers told her that she should try to encourage him, cause he has been struggling... So she encouraged him by buying him a new pair of trainers and some designer clothing... She had no parental guidance, so she put on her uniform and performed in search of any kind of acceptance... And now she was addicted to going raving every weekend... The club, sex and drugs became her escapism... See she concealed her spirit with endless cosmetics, because she had no self-confidence She was so desperate to feel significant, she just wanted to experience anything that wasn’t rejection So she exchanged her soul for superficial fulfilment… And she demonstrated her commitment by sketching another layer of makeup on... But beneath her skin deep drawing of happiness, she was drowning in a tide of sadness, because she was imprisoned inside a canvas that she knew was false… And now she didn’t even know how to start taking off all of the masks that she had plastered on... She realised that she was lost… Because she had forgotten who SHE was, behind the layers upon layers of makeup that she had painted on...
7.	The Strength to Walk Away 02:24	lyrics	buy track
I need to find the strength to walk away... I should’ve known that the decisions that I made would return to haunt me... My weakness kept me there My necessity to be loved was overpowering Failing seemed like an inconceivable option Suffering from the deadly sin of pride I refused to give in, refused to be mistaken... My weakness kept me there; and now I’m striving to find the strength to walk away... This condition is destructive... With each day that elapses I despise myself more You are like a fixation that I’m constraining myself to ignore... As the intensity of my desire for you dawns on me I am already drowning in your abyss... Imprudent me; I always knew my devotion was a hit and miss! The longer it continues, the more complicated it becomes... The further it develops, the less effective the cure... The more I love you, the deeper I’m distressed... And now I’m struggling to find the strength to walk away... Oh foolish me, I have no one to blame but myself! Too proud to give up, too conceited to give in! So in the end the person that I damage the most is I And now I’m trying to find the strength to walk away... You’re just no good for me; exhausting my emotions, embezzling every part of me! You love me, abandon me and then exhibit the pain for everyone to see! Now I need to find the strength to walk away... I stare at my reflection and it imitates my love for you... My sorrowful love with which anything for you I would do... They say that the decisions that you make return to haunt you Well you are embedded in my dreams... My weakness kept me there... But my strength will help me to walk away...
8.	Love and Hate 04:14	lyrics	buy track
I love you because of the kindness you showed me... You looked at me, cared for me, cherished me differently... See no one had ever loved me until I met you The bond that I grew with you, I knew I would obtain with few... Each time you touched me, intensity flowed through me I finally had someone who treasured me for me... You made me feel beautiful cause you stared at me adoringly when you looked at me... You became my confidant, my armour; you knew me so well... You nurtured me, appreciated me, supported me when I hauled you through hell! And I stood against everyone because I knew this was the real thing! I would help you become a King! Remember those dreams? Together we would win... We pictured the places that we were gonna to see You lean over to kiss me and I fall into your being so deep... It feels so perfect, that I can’t even envision a time before we met! You call me back when I hang up on you Watch me while I sleep... You show me off to the world, and make me laugh when the tears are making it hard for me to breathe... Fate bought you into my life and I refused to let you leave! With you I was in bliss; I never knew life could feel as good as this! You’re my colour, my rainbow, my heart, my everything... It hasn’t been easy; it’s just really been worth it... I’m frustrated because you don’t appreciate me! I’m offended because you have no empathy for me! I’m angry because you dismiss my feelings! I’m hurting cause to you I should be more special... You neglect me, never compliment me! You’re confining me and I’m losing myself! I’m actually starting to perceive a future without you! This perfect picture is fake; the blue skies mask the dark clouds! I can’t trust you; you keep lying to me and betraying me... We no longer talk about the future, we barely speak... I no longer drown in your kiss, we barely kiss... I’m wondering if this was just a fantasy cause I can’t even envision a time when we were happy! How can love turn to this? You don’t answer my phone calls, you wake when I sleep! You hide me from your people and thousands of secrets from me! You produce these tears that are making it hard for me to breathe! What you can’t breathe? Shit I can’t breathe! This paranoia is suffocating me! Your lack of empathy makes me furious! So I sit there thinking of ways to hurt you cause I really do hate you! Right now I could seriously wound you! I have to ask myself what the hell I’m doing with you! But as I release the poison to damage you, and I can see that I’m finally breaking you; I begin immersing in sorrow cause I really don’t want to hurt you... I don’t hate you, I love you, and that’s the hardest part... We’re just going round in circles, but I just don’t wanna give you up! I convince myself that I hate you; but when you go my heart bleeds... I convince myself that I don’t need you; but my life without you is impossible to conceive... I love you so much... please don’t leave me... I hate you so much... please leave and let me be! You’re my thunder, my cloud, my heart, my everything... It hasn’t been easy, cause my heart loves you but my head is telling me to leave before it’s too late... Is love really supposed to transform to hate?
9.	Pride 03:49	lyrics	buy track
I conceal my feelings cause my pride stands in the way... See if I hide my emotions you won’t be aware of the affect that you’ve got over me... I don’t wanna show you that you can hurt me... I don’t wanna disclose my weakness... My pride won’t let that be... It took me so long to tell you that you were special; even though my love for you ran extremely deep... I still portrayed the façade of ignorance; even though I loved you more than me... But if I show you I love you, you could use that against me! Exploit my love as my debility and manipulate me! You may damage me, desert me; use my adoration to treat me terribly... No I can’t let you see how much I love you, cause that will be the weakness in me... I find out that you’ve been cheating on me... See I knew I shouldn’t have demolished my barrage and now you’ve frozen the faith within me! You transform me to a person who I never knew I could be! I detest this person but they are continuously staring back at me... Paranoia becomes my constant companion... Lack of trust but yet so in love, so obsession develops into my antagonist! Accepting that I have been living a false existence makes it impossible to breathe... The betrayal cuts extremely deep! I forgave you though, cause you became the limitation in me... My primary flaw, my lust, my desire... I despised myself for letting you mean so much to me! Things were never the same, and I began resenting you for me hating me! We moved on and a future we built; I thought it was fate... But the arguments were constant, and we could no longer even communicate We changed each other, and I’m not sure if it was more to do with love or hate... My pride returns as I can’t keep on letting you hurt me... As you walk out the door I wanna capture you and make you stay I’m afraid of losing you but too frightened to show it! So I portray my disguise of dignity and pretend that I don’t care ‘Go if you want’ I say calmly; but as soon as you leave, the pain becomes too much for me to bear! I’m so in love with you that I wanna fall into you! I always wanna be with you! My mind won’t stop day dreaming about you! Man, I am so in love with you! My pride reappears, as again I realise I love you more than you love me... I suppress the love, I suppress the emotion and instead behave like you’re just another guy! It becomes my armour, the only way I can force my mind to get by... Paranoia I thought you were no longer my foe But yet you arrive with a vengeance in my time of woe! Exposing the betrayal and leaving me to drown in my sorrow! You refuse to let me be oblivious! You become my best friend and my biggest curse! I’m terrified of exposing my weakness... I depict a portrait of perfection when internally I am destructing I hate being weak cause I care what everyone thinks! The hurt consumes me and my spirit begins to sink! Melancholy drowns me as I lose everything that I never really had... I hunt for a remedy... My pride has been my closest ally and my darkest enemy...
10.	Heartless 05:37	lyrics	buy track
You ask me how I can be so heartless It’s been ten years, so... How can I just leave you like this? It’s like you’ve forgotten the stress that you put me through with your selfishness Can’t you see what’s happened to me after a decade? You’ve been punishing me every day with the mind games that you played! See deep down inside of me I know that you’ve been lying to me... It’s like idiocy has got the best of me, cause I haven’t been able to control my emotions successfully... So I start my routine when you fall asleep I’m hoping that you’ve left your email open, or better still your FB! Last night I broke into get into your ride, hoping to find a sign, but I didn’t have enough time, cause you woke up and almost caught me! So I’m praying that tonight God will be good to me... Then I see the things that I have been afraid of seeing! There’s a picture of some breasts, then another two sets and about 20 or so filthy texts Wait a minute, didn’t you send some of these to me? I have to laugh in astonishment at this mess! Cause I can’t believe that you are so heartless! Heartless in every sense... YOU taught me how to use my heart less... You made me feel worthless when you used my car as a cab to conduct your sordidness When I went to work you used my landline to talk dirty with other women! I bought your clothes and food cause you had financial problems While you lived in my home with condoms in your pocket that you planned on using with your mistresses! I stood by you through your sentence... I could’ve betrayed you but I chose to be honest! It all feels so senseless cause you were just toying with my emotions! You are not aware of the notion of devotion! You are an example of a lost generation that lives for the moment! Your ego is only verified by the opinions of your wasteman bredrins that have no jobs or morals so they search for substitute status symbols! You see caring as a weakness! So you put your dick first and my heart last! And I sacrificed my heart for your happiness! So I guess that’s where my heart went... I actually began expecting disappointment Built a wall and froze in my sad existence... I couldn’t kiss you cause it was all a pretence And sex was a means of pleasure not expressing feelings! I can’t even remember the last time we engaged in love making... And you hated the distance of my absence You needed physical reassurance So you called me heartless... You manipulate your words; you’re the master of this game! And although the truth is hard to hide, you deny it while you work my brain Then you start cussing me! Calling me insane, profane! And I’m starting to question my sanity, because I really want to believe what you’re telling me... I guess this is called transference... Cause now I have begun to question my hearts existence If it exists, why would you treat it with such coldness? It’s taken me some time, but I finally realise that we are trapped in a system Where you lie, and then I cry You’re not sorry but still apologise! I complain, but you don't change And when you get me to the point of as much as I can tolerate! You say that you love me But what you say and do is contradictory... So shame on you, but shame on me too! Cause I’ve been trying to prove my worth so much to you that I seem to have forgotten my value... See I died so many times to live in your presence... So next time you ask me why I am so heartless Remember that you have killed me more than once I’ve got bite marks on my tongue, because your needs always came first! So in you I can no longer keep believing! I refuse to put my trust in you cause it will cause more suffering! My heart is locked to prevent another breaking from occurring! I can no longer give you everything and I refuse to be your victim! You tore my heart into pieces and you tainted my heart beats rhythm And now I am desperately trying to resuscitate a heart that has been starved of oxygen… See I am not heartless… because underneath all of these scars that you have inflicted on me, I still have a heart that truly exists... It just dances differently because of the way that you treated me… So you can call me heartless… But remember that YOU taught me how to use my heart less!
11.	Babymother 05:14	lyrics	buy track
I swear I didn’t create these children alone... In the process of conception you were very present Only for you it was just another deception while I was picturing us creating a home... Now I’m left here as leader of another broken home... Another single parent family in a society where it is normality to come from divorce, one night stands and babymother/father communities… We were both raised by women that were abandoned by the men for whom they bore a seed So I thought that we both agreed that doing differently was a necessity... See for me pregnancy felt like a completion to the fantasy that I had created with the man of my dreams And when we had our first baby, I grew up immediately while you regressed to behaving like a teen... I raised her alone cause you were there but gone It’s funny that you only appeared to sleep! I stayed awake with her, making excuses for your fucked up behaviour and then beat myself up for being so weak! But I wanted a family... so desperately And the times that you were there, I would feel such happiness cause I was a success No more broken family... But yours was a different reality... And while I was busy being your ‘babymother’ With other women you were indulging in moments of pleasure... I guess subconsciously I started accepting that all of the responsibility was down to me If these children were gonna have a happy childhood, it was up to me! See you are the kind of man that can’t afford to support his children, but yet you’re never without a spliff! You claim benefits, while I struggle with the little money that I bring in, but you keep telling me that at least I’ve got a nice place to live in! You seem to be forgetting that providing a roof for your children is what you should be doing for a living! And I’ve lost count of the amount of times that you’ve reminded me that I’m getting child benefit and child tax credits, so I must be raking it in! And I guess that’s your excuse for not chipping in... I don’t know if you have quite grasped this, but while you are sleeping in the morning, I’m doing the school run then running to the first of the many chores in my daily routine! While you still go raving with your bredrins my social life consists of Disney evenings! And although you barley make an appearance, you can’t even make an effort when it comes to Christmas and birthdays Let’s not even mention first days, sports days and school plays! You have a habit of manoeuvring the truth to make it bend to your ways So that it justifies you being intoxicated every day... You sit in pity although you have so many opportunities But you would rather smoke weed, sell drugs and live illegitimately! And I don't even know if it’s cause it’s all you know or if you actually get high from it, because it feels like everything in your world is only for the moment! But you play the victim... So now I’m starting to understand that your self-esteem being low is what kept my loves flow... I don’t know if that makes me shallow, but I have a complexity with being helpful; and you were such a worthy cause... So now I have to take some of the responsibility Cause in reality it’s my fault for putting up with such stupidity! But in your mind, you believed that no matter what you did, because I was your ‘babymother,’ I would stick around forever... You think that I’m interacting with you because I care right? I’m communicating with you after all this time, I’m calling your line! I’m being nice and you’re smiling inside, thinking that you knew it would only be a matter of time, and then I would return to your side! But you really have to believe that you can do as you please, cause I don’t want you anymore... I know the idea may be difficult for your ego to conceive, cause in your world no woman walks out of the door But our children is all I’m here for... So at night when I watch our seeds and I stare into their eyes I see two young beings that have the qualities of both mine and your side... But hey you kinda see it but don’t really comprehend it and I have no more time for us to collide! I have learnt to swallow my pride, and I compromise so I don’t have the drama in my life! I won’t argue with you or talk about you badly I will not exploit our babies One day you will have to explain to them why you are absent from their memories... So I hide the sorrow that I have in my eyes and tell myself that I will survive Because you may see me as just your babymother! But I am more than just your babymother... I am the mother of your children, and right now I am also the father…
12.	Believe in Me 03:11	lyrics	buy track
If I stay focused while others are forcing me to lose my mind Trust in myself although everyone questions my sanity Yet listen to those attempting to guide me positively If I believe in me; I will never lose my competency…. If I refuse to let the demons of want make me forget the angels of have If I can leave the place that I am by determining where I wanna be If I can pass life’s tests although I had no time to learn the lessons Then patiently wait for my blessings… If I believe in me, then possibilities can be as deep as the sea… If I live my dreams while staying closely acquainted with reality Accept praise for my gifts but never lose my balance Overcome adversity without becoming malice… If I can stop asking why others hurt me and ask myself why I allow it to happen... If I can collide catastrophe with success to create the visions that I imagine If I believe in me; then I will be a grown woman… If I can struggle but refuse to fail and instead create new beginnings Accept that I have become wiser from youthful learning… If I can master the art of rebuilding and strengthening a broken heart Hold on to hope when I am forced back to the start… If I can carry on with a smile when all around me is crumbling Flee far from the point where I thought it was the end If I believe that tomorrow is my second chance, then I can be my own best friend… Once I have learnt to lose and accept loss Gain and be humble in my winnings Laugh when others lie about me but keep my integrity by rising above matters which are petty Let them hate me but not be consumed by hate Never lower my standards but believe that those worthy will rise to my expectations Stand tall amongst friends and foes… If I believe in me; then I can follow the path that I chose… If I believe that I am concrete But yet concrete can be cracked… If I believe that I exhibit the beauty of a rose But yet a rose contains a thorn… If I only enable very few to hurt me And my faith in myself does not dwindle If I can enjoy my own company If I can be acquainted with my own beauty If I can have a relationship with my spirituality Then the world will become a place where dreams become reality… If I believe in me All my inhibitions will be free… If I believe in me I can be anything that I want to be…

about

Invisible Tattoos is a collection of twelve distinct spoken word poems that are each accompanied by music.

Delving into the darker side of life and examining the complex world of emotions and encounters, this album provides a social commentary of the unheard voices of multi-cultural society, while touching on the subjects that make us all human and unlike anything else on this planet...

Invisible Tattoos is the debut poetry album from Farida Momtaz.

credits

released October 23, 2016

Performed by: Farida Momtaz
Written by: Farida Momtaz
Music Composed by: Farida Momtaz, Feromedia and Raw
Audio Engineer: PGM Express
Artwork by: PGM Express
Executive Producer: Farida Momtaz

Copyright © 2016 Farida Momtaz ℗2016 Farida Momtaz